I'm Not Your's Anymore
by cece1090
Summary: After Edward leaves, Bella goes home to Bristol to face the life she left behind. Sometimes moving forward means to go back and face who you are,the person you really are. Twilight/Skins crossover. No slash. Oneshot. T:Language


Okay, so this is just a little oneshot. I've had the idea for ages, and I would love to do a whole fanfic story but I want to finish a couple of my stories first. Anyways, this is a crossover between Skins and Twilight and both take place during New Moon and after Season four of Skins. I hope you enjoy it, and please review. If enough people respond, I might make it into a full story later.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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><p>"<em>You're not good for me Bella." <em>

His voice still rings in my head, the void very much present in my chest. He claimed he loved me, that I was his life, that he would never stop loving me. Yet here I am, alone. Of course it doesn't come to any surprise for me; I always manage to ruin everything I touch. It was all too good to be true anyhow, he was perfect, so fucking perfect and I am so, well just ordinary. For him to even look twice at me was amazing altogether, let alone be in a relationship.

But it wasn't just him, it was his whole family; they left me. They were supposed to be my second chance, my new family, my new future; one where I actually belonged somewhere. But that fell all apart as well. They all made a choice, a choice that didn't include me in their future. And it probably was the right one, given I'm not that special to begin with. They're all perfect, amazing beings and not just because they're vampires, they're vampires that have a respect for humanity. They don't have to, they're completely above my weak species, but they still respect their former lives.

But I guess I didn't belong there either, and maybe it's just that I don't belong with anyone. Even Jacob found I'm not worth having. I soon got the message that he didn't want anything to do with me, weeks and weeks of not picking up the phone, not calling, not coming over, and not having anything to do with me. He promised he would never hurt me like Edward did, and he broke that promise. Everything I held onto just got shot to hell.

I thought I could become someone else when I moved to Forks, hell, to the States in general. And I did slightly, changed my behavior, became more responsible, but you can never truly cut off half of who you are. And even though my behavior changed, I'm still the same person; I'm still Isabella Swan the person who can't hold onto anything. I'm still a royal fuck up, and no amount of changing behavior and new places will ever change that. Edward Cullen proves my point and puts the nail in the coffin for me. Nothing ever changes for me.

Which is why I decided to move back home.

After months of depression, I finally got tired of being tired. He broke my heart, and I let him. It was time to stop running away, time to stop pretending; of being someone I'm not. I'm not the girl who only cares about academics, someone who respects curfew, who doesn't break rules. No, I'm something altogether different. And I missed myself, missed who I am. And maybe the world is right, that I don't deserved to be loved, but at least here I have Effy and Tony, the two people in the whole world who sees me for who I am and love me regardless.

"Attention all passengers," the flight attendant's voice speaks out. "We have reached our destination and are about to land, please stay in your seats."

Slowly I pack up my stuff and put it under my seat and look out the window. England, a small smile forms on my mouth, mainly because I'm happy to be back. As I see the landing deck I quickly take my hair tie off my wrist and put my hair back into a loose, high pony. My hands are fidgety, and my nerves coming back slightly. It's been three years since I've been home, three years since I've been with my family.

The plane soon lands and I maneuver my way off the plane and make my way to baggage claim. As I get there, I wait for my bags along with everyone else. After some time I find my luggage and start walking towards pick up. Waiting there for a while, I finally see the family blue car. A smile unfolds on my mouth again as I see the car park and a figure get out.

I walk briskly over to her and don't miss the smirk adorned on her face. Engulfing her in a huge hug, I hear her slightly chuckle.

"Hey sis," she speaks as we separate.

"Hey Effy," I say with a wide smile.

She looks almost the same, same loose top and ripped leggings and army boots, and kohl smudged eyes. Some things never changed, including my half sister. We just looked at each other for a moment, enjoying the moment. Finally she lightly touched underneath my eye.

"Wow, you're actually sober," she says with an amused expression.

I just roll my eyes.

"Yeah well I hope you are as well, since you're driving you know," I say snarkily as we walk to the car.

She just quirks an eyebrow at me.

"What's with the accent, you sound absolutely ridiculous," she replies with a smile. "And I haven't the slightest idea as to what you going on about, I'm the responsible one" she says innocently.

I snort in response.

"Responsible my ass," I mumble.

She just smirks in return before helping me put all my stuff in the back.

"Where's Tony," I ask as I get into the car, remembering to get into the left side this time.

She starts the ignition and backs out rather quickly. Earning a finger from the car she pulled out of in front of.

"He's at home; he came back from University to see you, but not soon enough to pick you up. He had exams and such," she replies.

I nod in response. Looking out the window, I see the familiar hustle of people and hear the sounds. A strange sense of comfort washes over me at the familiar senses of England. Home would always be home.

"So what have I missed," I ask turning back to her.

Strangely I see her face become emotionless and immediately I react. I know that look, the look of 'I don't give a fuck about anything or anyone' and she also knows I can see straight through it.

"Hey," I say rather firmly. "Don't do that," I begin. "I'm not just some girl in your college, you can't just shut me out you know."

She just looks back at me for a minute, her eyes becoming icy.

"Well it's not as if you've been around exactly," she starts out just as coldly. "For all I know, you could just be another girl from my college, I'm not sure I even know you anymore," she retorts back, refusing to look at me.

A pang of guilt runs through me, and I'm angry; angry at her and myself. It's my fault and she knows it, I was the one caught with drugs. Even though she and Tony both party hard, I was the one who got out of control. She's right to be angry with me, but at the same time she has no right as well.

"Don't you fucking put this back on me, you and Tony both would've gotten your asses shipped to the States if you got caught. You both do just as much crazy shit as I, so don't be a fucking hypocrite." I retort angrily.

Immediately she turns to me, her eyes hard and she pulls over rather harshly. The car swerves slightly and the two of us just sit there in silence. Her grip on the wheel is so tight, her knuckles are turning white. The air is thick, so thick that it's hard to breathe.

"You could've called you know," she begins quietly. "At least showed you actually cared a little," she continues. "But no, you just ran away and didn't look back." She says still just as quietly. "You just got yourself fucking shipped off and left me alone," she finishes.

I let out a shaky breath.

"You were never alone Effy," I begin slowly. "I mean Tony-

"Was hit by a fucking bus and couldn't even write his own name," she interjects harshly.

Suddenly the car becomes really small, and it feels like I am about to be crushed. Everything seems to meld together and panic sets in.

"What?" I ask exasperatedly.

"Yeah, told Michele he loved on the phone then stepped in front of a bus," she starts again emotionless. "Saw the whole the thing," she finishes. "He finally got better, and he's pretty much the same person, just a bit more humane," she says with a snort.

I remain quiet, partly relieved he's okay; but still in shock.

"Everything turned to shit the moment you left, Tony got hit by a bus, Mum got depressed and had an affair, I went crazy" she finished dejectedly.

I turn to her.

"What do you mean crazy," I ask slowly.

She shakes her head and finally I see emotion coming though, finally she's treating me like her sister; even if I don't deserve it.

"I just," she began. "I just was barely holding it together, and then I met Freddie," she spits out the last word, as if the name is toxic. "I fucking knew the moment I met him that he would ruin me," she continues and I hear the sob about to come. "I just knew, I just fucking knew he would break me down," she finishes now crying.

Slowly I grab her hand, suddenly she jerks it away; and a pang of hurt hits me by her rejection. She then gets out of the car and sits down on the ground. Slowly I get out and walk around and sit beside her. She pulls out a cigarette, and lights it before offering one to me. It's times like this where I smoke, where I need the relief. I take one and light it up, inhaling deeply then exhaling.

"Edward," I breathe out.

She turns to me.

"What?" she asks confused.

I just inhale again. After this conversation I am going to need a serious drink. I haven't told anyone out loud of Edward, about how he nearly destroyed me.

"The one who ruined me too," I say quietly. "Remember when we used to say that love was good for absolutely nothing?" I ask.

She just snorts and sprawls her legs out on the gravel.

"Wish I had listened to that," I say. "He broke my heart, nearly killed me" I stated.

A moment later she grabs my hand.

We don't speak a word, nothing more needs to be said. We're family, and family sticks together no matter what. There was a love between us, between Tony and us that no one could ever destroy. And suddenly I feel afraid of what I'm coming home to. Maybe it isn't just me that everything falls apart. Apparently my whole family seems to fuck everything up. Effy went mad, Tony hit by a bus, Mum affair, and I a barely functioning zombie for three months. But maybe that's the beauty of family, that you never have to go through it alone.

And for once, despite it all, I'm happy. Happy that I no longer have Edward Cullen to define me anymore.

I was fine before him.

And I will be fine after him.

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><p>Please review.<p> 


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